Monday, September 10, 2012

Back to Basics

American Honey... what does that mean? Although I've had this song on my play list for sometime, I don't think I ever 'really' listened to it. It takes me back to the part of my childhood that was spent in Florida and Georgia. Although I don't remember too much of it, as an adult I now long for the slow pace of living that I recall. Sitting around on the front porch watching the days slowly pass by. Living in a simple way, not having too much. As a teenager, I was quick to leave that life and move back to San Diego and although I don't have any regrets... I just think that life is too fast paced here. I'm the first one to go shopping, dine out, book my weekends with more events than I know what to do with, being on line and get sucked into the hustle and bustle but recently, I've wanted more. More time just being and less time doing. Getting back to family time, relaxing and living a less cumbersome, less busy life.
I believe a lot if it has to do with where I'm at in my life and what I'm currently being challenged with - my fertility. My husband and I have been together for 10 wonderful years and I always knew that starting a family would be hard, but time is working against us and for the last few years we've been on a roller coaster ride of treatments, knowing what is wrong and trying to fix it. Throughout all this I found myself really getting stressed out and the doctor said, that I need to not stress because that only makes things worse. Granted, I know that. I'm no fool... but I needed someone to be blunt, frank and tell me what to do... other than my husband!
Rewind to 10 years ago, meeting my husband and leaving San Diego to move up to Orange County. I loved every minute of it but had a hard time adjusting and finding my own way. My friends and my family were so far away and even though I was here... I wanted to be there. I wanted to have my husband and have us move to San Diego. He wasn't too keen on that notion and for the next 8 years, we were going down almost every other weekend to go to parties, christenings, BBQ's, shopping and just spending time with our friends down there. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but everything was wrong with that. We were not making a life for ourselves where we lived. We were not focusing on us. We were not living our life. For years we've looked for work down there to give us the ability to move down there, but it just wasn't happening. Our jobs here were solid and we are happy here... so what was missing? Making a home here... where we live with friends that we have here and finding new ones. We still travel down, but not as much I'm fine with that. Hauling a dog, a truckload of things we'd need for the weekend and the stress of it all... it is not missed. Not one bit.
So we're getting back to basics. Being at home on the weekends, finding a church community, spending our free time doing things that make us happy and doing what is best for our lives, right now. All of these things intertwine into a happier heart, a happier home and a happier life. We love our friends and our family but it's time we focus on what we need to do. We only have one life and we're now taking charge. Surrounding ourselves by only the positive and not the negative.
Get caught in the race of this crazy life
Tryin' to be everything
Can make you lose your mind
I just wanna go back in time
To American honey
Gone for so long now
I gotta get back to her somehow
To American honey

1 comment:

  1. Love that you started a blog! I continue to pray for you as I know the journey is hard and can be frusterating. Just know you're not alone! Love ya girl!!