American Honey... what does that mean? Although I've had this song on my play list
for sometime, I don't think I ever 'really' listened to it. It takes me
back to the part of my childhood that was spent in Florida and Georgia.
Although I don't remember too much of it, as an adult I now long for
the slow pace of living that I recall. Sitting around on the front porch
watching the days slowly pass by. Living in a simple way, not having
too much. As a teenager, I was quick to leave that life and move back
to San Diego and although I don't have any regrets... I just think that
life is too fast paced here. I'm the first one to go shopping, dine out,
book my weekends with more events
than I know what to do with, being on line
and get sucked into the hustle and bustle but recently, I've wanted
more. More time just being and less time doing. Getting back to family
time, relaxing and living a less cumbersome, less busy life.
I believe
a lot if it has to do with where I'm at in my life and what I'm
currently being challenged with - my fertility. My husband and I have
been together for 10 wonderful years and I always knew that starting a
family would be hard, but time is working against us and for the last
few years we've been on a roller coaster ride of treatments, knowing
what is wrong and trying to fix it. Throughout all this I found myself
really getting stressed out and the doctor said, that I need to not
stress because that only makes things worse. Granted, I know that. I'm
no fool... but I needed someone to be blunt, frank and tell me what to
do... other than my husband!
Rewind to
10 years ago, meeting my husband and leaving San Diego to move up to
Orange County. I loved every minute of it but had a hard time adjusting
and finding my own way. My friends and my family were so far away and
even though I was here... I wanted to be there. I wanted to have my
husband and have us move to San Diego. He wasn't too keen on that notion
and for the next 8 years, we were going down almost every other weekend
to go to parties, christenings, BBQ's, shopping and just spending time
with our friends down there. Not that there was anything wrong with
that, but everything was wrong with that. We were not making a life for
ourselves where we lived. We were not focusing on us. We were not living
our life. For years we've looked for work down there to give us the
ability to move down there, but it just wasn't happening. Our jobs here
were solid and we are happy here... so what
was missing? Making a home here... where we live with friends that we
have here and finding new ones. We still travel down, but not as much
I'm fine with that. Hauling a dog, a truckload of things we'd need for the weekend and the stress of it all... it is not missed. Not one bit.
So we're
getting back to basics. Being at home on the weekends, finding a church
community, spending our free time doing things that make us happy and
doing what is best for our lives, right now. All of these things intertwine
into a happier heart, a happier home and a happier life. We love our
friends and our family but it's time we focus on what we need to do. We
only have one life and we're now taking charge. Surrounding ourselves by
only the positive and not the negative.
Get caught in the race of this crazy life
Tryin' to be everything
Can make you lose your mind
I just wanna go back in time
To American honey
Gone for so long now
I gotta get back to her somehow
To American honey
